SCRANTON SEEKS TO GAIN SUPPORT OF COMMON MULTIMILLIONAIRES
We were up in the air, in THE CAD'S private plane, heading towards his palace near Buckingham Palace. I have been to Buckingham Palace, and I know that the Royal Family of England, one of the wealthiest families of the world (in part due to the heavy annual governmental subsidy they receive) lives nowhere as well as THE CAD.
Some of THE CAD's collateral ancestors fought for the Americans in the Revolutionary War. I can't tell you the depth of the patriotic feelings I have when I enter his palace stacked from floor to ceiling with gold bars on almost all the walls and a flag of the thirteen colonies flying on the front lawn. What a patriot THE CAD is. He flies his thirteen colony flag right with his flag of Gene Stilp's pink pig.
THE CAD was smoking a big fat Cuban cigar while his nails were being manicured by one of his stewardesses. Another stewardess was giving me a back rub. A third stewardess was giving THE GUZZLER a choice of the best wines in the world. When you travel with THE CAD, you go not first class, but Plutocrat Class.
"Well, Proudly," THE CAD told me after instructing a fourth stewardness that it would soon be time to begin lapdancing, "Bill Scranton has joined the board of the Commonwealth Foundation.
What do you make of that? And is this the beginning of a STOP STILP movement for 2010?"
"Scranton needs to develop a political base," I said. "This is part of a plan to connect with the common multimillionaire. It is really slumming on his part given his plutocratic status, but it's a smart political move. And you are right, he may be positioning himself to take on Boss Stilp's control of the Pennsylvania legislature in 2010."
"Wait a minute," said THE GUZZLER, bemoaning the fact that he could not drink every bottle of the most expensive wines in the world at one sitting. "Why would Scranton want to take on Boss Stilp? Does he really want to be impeached and convicted shortly after being sworn in?"
Again, it was up to me to answer. "He and Boss Stilp ought to be working together to advance the interests of the common plutocrat, so we can have a government of the plutocrats, by the plutocrats, and for the plutocrats. But sometimes ambitions conflict, and even plutocratic politicians pander to the little people, the people with annual incomes of less than a million dollars a year. I know it is outrageous and counterproductive, but the game of politics gets in people's blood, and they do desperate things to win popular support."
THE CAD was blowing smoke rings. His manicure had been completed and he asked for a shoeshine. He suggested to his attending stewardess that she might want to change into something more comfortable. He reminded us that he had made over $25 million in private transactions involving the sale of the Inquirer, and had called for a capital strike against both Stilp and Diamond when they were pursuing conflicting goals.
"That money was good pocket change, " he said. "But in 2010 it is going to be different. We are not going to let Stilp, Scranton, and Diamond let us down again, by not running for Governor. $25 million plus was fair compensation for Stilp not being lieutenant governor, but not for giving up the governorship again.
"There can be no doubt WHATSEVER. In 2010, WE PLUTOCRATS WILL OWN THE GOVERNORSHIP. We have strong influence with Ed Rendell, as his pushing Hoeffel out of the race for Stilp and his legislative--wink, wink--"reform" plan shows. But strong influence is NOT enough. WE MUST OWN THE NEXT GOVERNOR. Whether the next governor is Stilp, Diamond, Scranton, or Potts, we must own his campaign and own him."
"Potts?" I asked. "Doesn't he have a liberal backround and liberal friends?"
"Yes, " THE CAD said, "but he is winning my heart with his talk of sordition--abolishing the democratic selection of constitutional convention delegates and picking the convention delegates at random. That means they will have no mandate from the people, only a mandate from us.
Potts may be the plutocrats best friend in a state in which we have so many friends."
As a Stilp man, I was disappointed to here this, but then the lapdance on my lap began. I closed my eyes, enjoyed the continuing back rub, sipped some wine, and dozed off happily.
We were up in the air, in THE CAD'S private plane, heading towards his palace near Buckingham Palace. I have been to Buckingham Palace, and I know that the Royal Family of England, one of the wealthiest families of the world (in part due to the heavy annual governmental subsidy they receive) lives nowhere as well as THE CAD.
Some of THE CAD's collateral ancestors fought for the Americans in the Revolutionary War. I can't tell you the depth of the patriotic feelings I have when I enter his palace stacked from floor to ceiling with gold bars on almost all the walls and a flag of the thirteen colonies flying on the front lawn. What a patriot THE CAD is. He flies his thirteen colony flag right with his flag of Gene Stilp's pink pig.
THE CAD was smoking a big fat Cuban cigar while his nails were being manicured by one of his stewardesses. Another stewardess was giving me a back rub. A third stewardess was giving THE GUZZLER a choice of the best wines in the world. When you travel with THE CAD, you go not first class, but Plutocrat Class.
"Well, Proudly," THE CAD told me after instructing a fourth stewardness that it would soon be time to begin lapdancing, "Bill Scranton has joined the board of the Commonwealth Foundation.
What do you make of that? And is this the beginning of a STOP STILP movement for 2010?"
"Scranton needs to develop a political base," I said. "This is part of a plan to connect with the common multimillionaire. It is really slumming on his part given his plutocratic status, but it's a smart political move. And you are right, he may be positioning himself to take on Boss Stilp's control of the Pennsylvania legislature in 2010."
"Wait a minute," said THE GUZZLER, bemoaning the fact that he could not drink every bottle of the most expensive wines in the world at one sitting. "Why would Scranton want to take on Boss Stilp? Does he really want to be impeached and convicted shortly after being sworn in?"
Again, it was up to me to answer. "He and Boss Stilp ought to be working together to advance the interests of the common plutocrat, so we can have a government of the plutocrats, by the plutocrats, and for the plutocrats. But sometimes ambitions conflict, and even plutocratic politicians pander to the little people, the people with annual incomes of less than a million dollars a year. I know it is outrageous and counterproductive, but the game of politics gets in people's blood, and they do desperate things to win popular support."
THE CAD was blowing smoke rings. His manicure had been completed and he asked for a shoeshine. He suggested to his attending stewardess that she might want to change into something more comfortable. He reminded us that he had made over $25 million in private transactions involving the sale of the Inquirer, and had called for a capital strike against both Stilp and Diamond when they were pursuing conflicting goals.
"That money was good pocket change, " he said. "But in 2010 it is going to be different. We are not going to let Stilp, Scranton, and Diamond let us down again, by not running for Governor. $25 million plus was fair compensation for Stilp not being lieutenant governor, but not for giving up the governorship again.
"There can be no doubt WHATSEVER. In 2010, WE PLUTOCRATS WILL OWN THE GOVERNORSHIP. We have strong influence with Ed Rendell, as his pushing Hoeffel out of the race for Stilp and his legislative--wink, wink--"reform" plan shows. But strong influence is NOT enough. WE MUST OWN THE NEXT GOVERNOR. Whether the next governor is Stilp, Diamond, Scranton, or Potts, we must own his campaign and own him."
"Potts?" I asked. "Doesn't he have a liberal backround and liberal friends?"
"Yes, " THE CAD said, "but he is winning my heart with his talk of sordition--abolishing the democratic selection of constitutional convention delegates and picking the convention delegates at random. That means they will have no mandate from the people, only a mandate from us.
Potts may be the plutocrats best friend in a state in which we have so many friends."
As a Stilp man, I was disappointed to here this, but then the lapdance on my lap began. I closed my eyes, enjoyed the continuing back rub, sipped some wine, and dozed off happily.
posted by Proudly for Plutocracy at 9:30 PM
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